How to Recover from an Eating Disorder: A Compassionate Guide to Healing
I am empathic to why you’re here. I am empathic to the fact that food has become your enemy. I am empathic to your feelings of being out of control, unsafe, and ashamed. My empathy comes from clinical experience, but also from my personal struggles to recover from disordered eating. When something fundamental to life, like food, is corrupted by societal norms, oppression, and trauma, the path towards healing can become overwhelming because everyday you’re confronted with the battle ground of your survival strategies. The why, the what, and the how behind these strategies vary from person to person, but one fact seems ever-present about eating disorders: they rob us of our vitality. If you’re reading this, I’m going to assume you want your vitality back. You want to love yourself, trust yourself. I want to show you how and provide some guidance for anyone coming to terms with the harrowing realization that their relationship with food has become destructive.
The first thing to know: recovery from an eating disorder is not about willpower. It's about healing your relationships. Your relationship to your body, your essence, and others. It’s not a straight path, and for many adults, the shame, secrecy, or long-held habits can make the idea of recovery feel immense. But healing is possible at any age. Whether you're just starting to question your relationship with food and your body, or you’ve been in recovery for years, know this: you're not alone, and you don’t have to do it alone.
What Is Recovery, Really?
Recovery from an eating disorder isn't just about eating “normally” again. What is normal anyway? Healing is about rebuilding your relationship with food, your body, and yourself. That looks like:
Learning to nourish yourself without shame, guilt, or fear
Moving away from of harmful rules or rituals
Processing the emotions, trauma, or beliefs underneath disordered eating
Reconnecting with your body in safe, sustainable ways
Reclaiming your joy and vitality
For adults across the gender spectrum, eating disorders can look different than in adolescence. They often intersect with stress, life transitions, trauma, or co-occurring conditions like anxiety, depression, or substance use. But no matter your age or history, I know recovery is possible because I’ve seen it happen. Below you’ll find five guideposts for the process.
1. Acknowledge That You Deserve Support
As adults with disordered eating issues, we can feel like we “should” have it all together. That belief can stop you from seeking help. The first and most important step is acknowledging that getting support is not a weakness or some kind of character flaw. Yes, seeking support can make your issues feel more real, but qualified and compassionate professionals can help you normalize what you’re going through. In fact, eating disorders are very common. According to the National Eating Disorder Association, 30 million Americans will have an eating disorder in their lifetime. So, if you find yourself:
Constantly thinking about food or your body
Eating in secret or skipping meals
Feeling anxious, ashamed, or guilty after eating
Over-exercising or compensating for what you eat
Struggling with binge eating, restricting, purging, or chronic dieting
…then you’re not alone. These are signs that it's time to seek support because your vitality is needed in this world.
2. Work With Trusted Pros
Based on what I’ve seen in myself and my clients, eating disorders thrive in isolation. Recovery thrives in connection. Your healing journey may benefit from several types of professionals:
Therapist or psychologist (ideally someone with ED experience)
Registered dietitian (RD) who specializes in eating disorders
Primary care doctor to monitor physical health
Psychiatrist if medication support is needed
It can be overwhelming to know where to start, and while I’m biased because of my own training, a mental health provider who you trust might be the best place to start. They can help you address the isolation and shame that often accompanies disordered eating. With their support, other providers might be able to help even more. Therapy is a potent onramp to addressing disordered eating.
Tip: Look for providers who use Health at Every Size (HAES), trauma-informed, or intuitive eating frameworks. These approaches are often more compassionate and effective for adults.
3. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
The healing process is rarely linear. There may be days that feel like setbacks but this doesn’t mean that you’ve failed or aren’t making progress towards more self love and trust. In fact, relapse is a common part of the recovery process. What matters is returning to your support systems, new coping skills, and continuing to choose healing, again and again. Consider asking yourself:
What helped me cope in the past that I can return to now?
What activated this pattern or feeling? What skills and resources reduce the activation?
How is this relapse different from before?
How am I more resilient today than in the past?
Recovery is about acknowledging the small actions that lead to larger changes. It is not about perfection, rather practice.
4. Rebuild Your Relationship With Your Body on Your Terms
No matter your gender or age, bodies have been made an enemy in the United States. I won’t get into the why or how of that right now, but recovery from disordered eating means reclaiming your relationship with your body on your terms. There are a lot of messages circulating about what that means but ideally you’ll discover or rediscover this relationship based on your inner wisdom vs. books, blog posts (yup), or social media posts. Healing your body image may involve some of the following:
Learning body neutrality: Accepting your body as it is, even if you don’t love it
Limiting exposure to harmful social media or diet content
Exploring somatic therapy, yoga, or gentle movement
Reconnecting with pleasure, rest, and joy
You are more than a body. You are more than a brain. You are a vital being waiting to be fully expressed and known. It’s important that this happens on your terms, in your way.
5. Find Community and Resources
Healing is easier when you don’t feel isolated and ashamed. There are many communities and resources specifically for adults recovering from eating disorders:
Books
The Eating Disorder Sourcebook by Carolyn Costin
Body Respect by Linda Bacon & Lucy Aphramor
Life Without Ed by Jenni Schaefer
Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch
Online Resources
National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) – Support groups, helplines, treatment locators
Project HEAL – Grants and access to care for people with eating disorders
Recovery Warriors – Articles, podcasts, and community for recovery
Eating Disorders Anonymous – 12-step peer support
Hotlines
NEDA Helpline: Call or text 1-800-931-2237
Crisis Text Line: Text “NEDA” to 741741 for free, 24/7 support
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Too Late
If you’re an adult struggling with an eating disorder, you may feel like it’s “too late” to have a better relationship with food and your body. You might feel hopeless or discouraged, but learning how to address disordered eating can give you surprising super powers that can improve many areas of your life. In fact, you might already have some of the skills you need to overcome these patterns based on your life experiences, insight, maturity, and motivation. I’ve seen many adults learn how to improve their relationship with food and their bodies. Whether you’re just stepping onto the healing path or you’ve contended with disordered eating for a long time, it’s never too late to turn poison into cure, shame into love, and isolation into connection. If any of this has resonated, please know my heart is with you as a fellow adult who overcame disordered eating.